Purpose??

Everyone says I walk with a purpose. I've been told that more times than I can could count. If I only knew what this purpose was, I would be set.

Anyone want to help?

Monday Blues

Not much is going on. I don't really have a life. I watched The Ugly Truth with my family yesterday. It was funny and we all liked it. I suggest you all go see it. The whole control freak part really hit home for me; "who could love someone like that?" Yeah, that hits home.

Debbie is on vacation this week so it's just me and Vanessa in the front. Today was okay. We'll see how the rest of the week goes. Hopefully well. It needs to go well. It's been slow and probably going to get slower as school starts! YAY!! Hahaha.

I think I need something that challenges me. It's not that the vet isn't challenging. It just isn't something I see myself doing. I want to stand for something. I want to fight for something. Nothing is really grabbing me. I don't know what's wrong with me.

BLOG SWAP!!!

I got paired up with James for the 20sb blog swap. I've never participated before so this is all new to me. Here is his blog entry. I'm over at his blog. Here's his entry for today. Hope you like our topic :-)

I signed up randomly for the 4th 20sb Blog Swap, and found it to be such a cool experience that I vowed to participate in as many as I could. So, for the 5th 20sb Blog Swap, I got paired with Heather. At first glance, I was a bit scared. Me, a man, write for a self-described feminist? Chances are I couldn't blag it with a drunk post about dating minefields like I did last time.

After a spot of emailing, we decided to talk about holidays. Specifically, favourite holidays. Now, seeing as I'm due to head to the Lake District for a week's hiking and relaxing on Saturday, I figured this was well timed.

But hang on. Favourite holidays. How do you choose one? I've been luckily enough to have holidayed in places such as California, Vermont, Massachusetts, Crete, Portugal, Scotland, Florida and England, and I can't choose one of them easily.

If it was based upon distance, then sure, my trips to California would nail them. But then what about culture? American life isn't really any different to English life; I'd be looking at Portugal or Crete. Or weather? Not as easy as you might think - Crete and Portugal had gorgeous weather, but there was no variation - and baking hot gets pretty boring after a while. Vermont had lovely warm summer days mingled with blissfully cool times - a real blessing when you're trekking through the mountains.

I'd rather choose based on experience. But that's another thing - is one experience truly better than others? Granted, I wouldn't put a car crash as a better experience than, say, skydiving - but you know what I mean.

My trips to the Lake District and Scotland have largely been hiking trips. I mean, if you're going to a mountainous region with absolutely stunning vistas from the summits, you're going to climb them. It's a lot more challenging than, say, heading off to Florida and taking in the sights (or, you know, beaches). But you wouldn't go to Florida with the goal of hiking and climbing mountains.

I can honestly say that every single one of my holidays has been unmatched by any other. Like last year, when my Dad and I spent ten days in San Francisco and Monterey Bay. Or when my family, including my Aunt and Uncle, my three cousins and two of their boyfriends, all trekked up to Scotland and enjoyed two weeks in the highlands. It's comparable, but uncomparable at the same time.

It's about the moment. How you feel at that moment. Looking back, with that in mind, it's actually quite obvious what my favourite holiday was.

All of them.

Crazy Monday

Dude, I'm not sure how much longer I can take it at the vet. Those people are driving my crazy. Seriously. I hate wakeing up and going there in the morning. People don't know what it is to hear 'NO' there. They are spolied and think that they are our number one priority. They think the customer is always right. WRONG! SORRY! That is so not even true. Take today, for example. One of our bitchest, horribly rude, looks like leather client's sister called about three times, the first two hanging up and not speaking. When she does get on the phone, she bithces the girl that answers the phone out, saying that her sister (our client) had been trying to call all morning. Not even true. We were busy all morning (it's Monday...always crazy) but never once did this lady call. We checked the caller ID. She's one of those clients you know not to do or say anything around because she will turn around and tell on you. Apparently, she called one day (doesn't remember when) and whomever answered the phone (before they put her one hold) said 'It's *insert client's name here*, AGAIN'. She said I did it. Dude, there is NO WAY I WOULD EVER DO THAT TO ANY ONE OF OUR CLIENTS. I'm the one that's scared clients will get hung up on so I make sure the phone is on hold before I put it down. I'm just so tired of being stressed at work. There is so much drama. I hate it. I just can't work like this. I was told, as the receptionist, you will be blamed for everything. Who can work like that?

It's a good day

I'm doing something I haven't done in a very, very long time. I'm sitting at CC's, by myself, drikning my usual (super grande caramel ice coffee!),my computer in front of me and a great book by my side! Life is good, right now. I'm waiting for my clothes to dry so why not wait here, right???

I've been toying with the idea of writing short stories. I don't think I have what it takes to write a book. I'm not even sure I can pull of writing a short story. I guess we'll see. Where do I start?

I need to start looking for another job. I'm not happy where I am currently. I think I just need a break. I want to do something that I love, something that I'm happy to get up for in the morning, something I look forward to. Only tiime will tell, I guess.

It feel so great outside today :-) Hope you all have a wonderful day.

Mornings

I've come to find, when I don't have to work at the vet, mornings are peaceful. I miss opening at the theatre. I know it can get crazy, but despite that, I enjoy opening. There's a peacefulness to it. Something that calms me down. It might also help that I don't have that many customers haha.

I'm currently reading Tales of a Female Nomad by Rita Golden Gelman. I haven't even made a dent in the book and I love it. It makes me feel something I haven't felt in a long time. I'm not sure what it is, but I know it's there.

Hope you all have a great day :-)

You should go read it

So, my wonderful friend Pam is having a giveaway for the grand opening of her new blog. You all should go check it out and sign up to win the cool stuff, not to mention her awesome writing. I could so use that $20 Barnes and Noble gift card, haha.

All the book I ordered last week came in this week. I'm now waiting on all the Harry Potter books to get here. I can't wait to start reading them again.

There is something that has been bothering me for a while. My mom keeps asking me for money. It's not for stuff they need around the house. It's for stuff she wants, all her scrapbook stuff. I'm tired of her always saying she needs money. She doesn't NEED money, she WANTS money. I know I probably sound like a selfish bitch, but I hope you understand. My mom is capable of getting a part time job. She called me at work yesterday, saying her needed money. I told her I was busy, she asked that I call her back so she could come meet me. I told her no. I forgot about the whole conversation until I received a lovely voicemail from her while at work last night thanking me for fucking calling her back about the money she needed. Yeah, great move mom. I don't know what to do about it anymore.

Any advice?

Phone is dead. As in, Trunks chewed through my charger and now it no longer works. I've been thought a book for a week now. It makes me very, very sad. I was so bored last night, I worked for the midnight of Harry Potter. It was CRAZY! AND, it will only get worse over the next few weeks. Cain and I are going watch it tonight. I'm bringing clothes with my to change at work. They has am employee screening that I missed; was totally bummed :-(

I'm waiting for the charger and all of the books I ordered to come in. It's driving me a little nuts.

Maybe better

Things are okay. Not really feeling all that great but better than I was. I think I want to start a cooking and book reviewing blog. I'm still waiting for my books to come in. I ordered 4 books and a cd last week from Amazon. The cd came in :-) It's BoA's first English CD. Totally rocks. Still waiting for the books to come in. I'm part of Blogging Bookworm. We are suppose to start reading this book tomorrow. It still hasn't come in. I just ordered all the Harry Potter books hardcover :-D YAY!! I also had to order a new phone charger because Trunks chewed the old one.

I can handle ordering presents from people online and waiting for them to come in. I CAN'T handle ordering stuff for myself, especially books haha. Then why do you do it, you ask? Because it's cheaper online. These days, everyone's looking for a deal. I just wish they would get here faster lol.

Well, I hope everyone is having a great day! How was everyone's weekend?

Not so good

Yeah, I've been in one of those moods lately. I don't want to talk to anyone, don't want to get out of bed, don't want to do anything. I want to cry when I get up in the morning, as well as when I'm at work. Nothing feels right. I know I'm depressed. I know there is something wrong with me. I have thoughts of hurting my dogs, as well as my family dying. It doesn't bother me at all. When I see someone hurt or in pain, I want to laugh. I almost got fired on Monday. A client came in on Friday (we had done eye surgery on his dog) and said his dog ate the bottle I'd eye drops we sent home. The man then proceded to put flea/heartworm preventative in the dogs. He told me he rinsed the dogs eye out. I told him the dog would be fine. HUGE MISTAKE!!! The dogs eye became swollen shut and had to be taken to the emergency clinic. Wife calls the clinic Monday and was rightly upset (she's in Mexico, btw). We watched the dog for three days and he's doing much better.
That was on Monday. Tuesday, I forgot to give one of my co-workers a message to pick up her mom's dog.

I've just been all out of sorts. I hate when I get like this. Seriously, what kind of person laughs at someone elses pain? Who thinks about hurting their animals. I have these rages when all I want to do it beat my dogs.

I'm such a horrible person.

I wonder what happened to me.

Stole from http://complicatedv.blogspot.com

excited about nothing really
worried about money, like always
reading Marley and Me by Josh Grogan
creating this post
loving my dogs
hating just about everything right now
wondering about a lot of stuff, especially with me
craving cupcakes, coffee, peace
listening to C, playing WoW and a commercial
watching nothing
netflix-ing I don't Netflix; I know, right?!?!

Me, at the moment

I'm broken
I'm bound
by your words
by your glances

Nothing
makes me happy
Nothing
makes me whole

Wow, it's Wednesday

So, first things first: Cain recieved a text from Ben (the roomate) today, telling him that he was moving all his stiff out today, but leaving the guinea pigs for now because he didn't have a truck. What a dick head. Cain knew Ben wasn't going to stay long but a month after they moved there?!?!?! That just blows my mind. I don't get it. I feel bad because now Cain has to pay lot rent plus trailer note. Cain knows I won't move because I signed my lease a month ago. I really want to stay there for the year anyway. My own space and everything. Cain is such a better person than I am. He's laid back and takes things as they come. I'm ready to call up Ben and curse him out. He didn't give Cain any warning. That makes me mad.

Second: movies need to start coming out on Friday, NOT Wednesday. It's so busy during the day. It sucks.

We are going watch Ice Age tonight.

That is all for now. How is everyone doing?

Monday Blues

It's been a blah Monday. I just did not want to do anything. I got to work and couldn't wait to go home. The day just dragged on. Work couldn't end soon enough. About 20-30 minutes before work ended, the wind, thunder and lightening started. Then the rain came!! YAY!! We haven't had rain in a month. It was great. I ended up not going shopping. I just went home. I didn't even get the puppy. I took a shower, folded clothes and am now watching TV. I'm PMSing bad. I've wanted to eat everything in site all weekend. It sucks. I want everything fried and chocolate.

I just don't want to do anything anymore.

It's been too long

I know I haven't posted in what seems like forever, and I'm sorry. I do want to up my readership so I better start writing.

So, I'm in the new apartment. I didn't spend much time there last week because I had to flea bomb the place. Yeah, it sucked. I still need to unpack and put everything where it needs to go. I hate that part. Pictures will come when it's done; hopefully soon. Trunks is doing well. He's learning the meaning of the word 'NO'. It's still a little rough without Cain and Broly but we try to see them often. I don't want to go over there all the time because I only think it's fair that he comes to me. Once a week isn't going to cut it (lunch on Sundays). I'm still a little sad when I go home but I know it's for the better. I need to get use to begin by myself and going to his place all the time isn't going to help. I now have Internet, cable and telephone. Yay!!

I really miss time with my ladies. Last night, Lauren, Monica and I hung out. It was fun. I can't wait for Katie to get back from Korea. I know she's having a fabulous time and I'm happy for her. It's been a while since all four of us have been together. Speaking of which, Hayley moved out of her parents house. Yay for her! Monica is buming around, either with her mom or friends becasue Lucas' family moved to Oklahoma, where him and his dad work. It all happened on the same weekend. Cain said he was never moving he again, that he would hire movers the next time. As I unpack, I'm trying to get rid of stuff I don't need/use. I will hopefully get my kitchen table soon. I need to switch cable from my bedroom to the living room.

Oh, drama alert. When the talk of moving into the apartment started, I told Erin and Lauren (supposed friends) that I couldn't afford the deposit and 1st months rent. They were shocked and "hurt", as Lauren put it. She sent me a text saying how I asked for their help, then they go out of their way to figure stuff out for me and I reject it. EXCUSE ME?!?!?!?!!! I NEVER asked for anyones help in finding a place to live, or with anything for that matter. I am a grown as woman. I can do things on my own. Yeah, I know I could have said 'no' to them about the apartment. I kind of feel like I was guilted into living there. It's my own place now so I'm making the best of it. Lauren then said she would talk to the landlord about keeping the deposit for me and me just paying them back. That was fine with me. Well, yesterday, I get a text from Lauren telling me that she's been trying to get in touch with me for three days (this is true) and if I didn't get in touch
with her by 9, she was going to forced to take me to small claims court. I messages back, not because she threatened me, but because I wanted her address. She wouldn't give it to me. She's going to pick up some of the money next Tuesday at The Grand. I'm going to pay the rest of the money next month then I am done with them. I feel like Lauren does this kid of stuff for people, without asking them, to make herself feel good. Then, when they don't respond in the manner she wants, she's gets all offended and puts it back on that person, making them feel horrible. I don't want to be associated with that, ever again. It's wrong to treat people that way.

Oh, Brittney's aunt brings her dogs to the vet I work at. She told Brittney, who told Cain, who told me, that I wasn't very nice to her. That woman is never nice to me when she comes in, no matter how hard I try. Speaking of which, I am trying to have a better attitude at both of my jobs. I know I'm lucky have a job, much less two, so I better make the near of it.

I realized yesterday that I really need to lose weight. We eat out waayyyyy too much. I want to start cooking more and eating at home. Trunks and I went for a walk this morning around the park across the street. I need to start getting up earlier and going walk. I need to complete lifestyle change.

What's been going on in your life?

So, here's what's going on

I'm not moving in with Cain. I did not get the first apartment because I have bad credit and no previous rent history. At this point, I had two options: move in with Cain or go back home. As much as I didn't want to move in because of Ben, I was willing to give it a try. Enter Lauren. Her, her gf and Erin have decided to rent a house together. That leaves Laurens apartment up for rent. I never asked them for help. Never. They told their landlord that I was interested in the apartment. I don't think I ever said I was interested in it. I told them I couldn't afford the deposit. They talked to their landlord about keeping the deposit for me and I would pay them back little by little (in about 2-3 months). I hate that they did that. I really do. Cain is sad that I'm moving. I'm sad that I'm moving. I know he said things would different at the trailer because it would be his, but I don't like living with Ben. I've been crying for the past two days because of
this. Maybe this will be good for us. I think I owe it to myself because I've never lived on my own before. I'm giving it six months. Cain and I agreed that, after six months, if I didn't like it, I could move in the trailer. I guess we will see how it goes.

I know it's not much but DO IT!

I got this idea from my dear friend Erin. I'm really thinking about doing it. I would love love love to see what everyone else comes up with. So, if you are able to, please do this. I can't wait. I'll try to post mine soon.

I start moving in a week and a half and have NOTHING packed. I need serious help. I have no motivation at all. I promise a real post will come after I move and get Internet set up. Hopefully, that happens soon after I move. Hope everyone is doing well.

Getting to know you

I got this idea from Pam!. It's such a good idea and a great way to get to know my audience so go for it!

1.When did you first discover blogging?
2. What is the first blog you remember reading?
3. Why do you blog (and how often)?
4. How often do you read others' blogs (and how many do you follow)?
5. What did you do before blogging?


I'll be first! Here are my answers:
1.It was about 5 years ago. I had a blog before then that was deleted because my parents found out. Long story.....good topic for a future post LOL!
2. I think it was someone on LiveJournal's. Yeah, I have two blogs
3. I don't blog often enough. I know I need to change that. Again, another great post.
4. I read just about every day. I follow most of what I read. I love hearing what people have to say and what's going on out there.
5. I really don't know. I tried keeping a journal. I started one last year and wrote in it everyday for a while (that was my goal) but somewhere along the way, all of them seem to get lost or forgotten.

Yeah, read what she has to say

Simply ME...: NO, I don't owe you an explanation

Yeah, I think this says it all about me and friendship. It's sad to think I am like this. I'm glad I am about to recognize, admit it and start correcting it right away, though. Gotta give myself props for that. I'm proud of myself. Prouder than I've been in a very long time. Go me.

Tattoos

I think this is the next tattoo I want to get. I'm not sure about the fist in the middle yet. I want to get it on my ribs. Maybe on both sides. I would want it in pink because I like that color. What are your feelings on tattoo's and body modification? I recently stumbled upon my dear friend Amy's blog about the subject she kept two years ago. It looks like it was for a class or a project. I think I want this one too Posted a link to her body blog, as I like to call it. That specific link is to another tattoo I'm thinking about getting.

Oh, great news. All I have to do it turn in a 30 day notice at current apartment and Kelly, the lady who helped me with everything at Bridgeway, said she could get me approved there! So basically, I HAVE THE APARTMENT!! It made me a little sad though, to think that I have to move and don't want to. Everyone says I'm going to like it though. I think I am too, I just have to give it time. Now, it's on to packing!! This is where my sister and friends come in LOL.