Sunday, January 31, 2010
Last night, Cain and I made plans to go to Fat Pat's Bar and Grill for their $3 single hot dogs on Sunday. I was excited because we hadn't been there in a while. I was really hungry because I hadn't eaten since last night and by the time we got there it was around 2:30 (traffic was horrible). My stomach was A LOT bigger than my eyes. I wish they would communicate more often. I got two hot dogs and an order of sweet potato fries. WRONG WRONG WRONG. BAD DECISION. I felt horrible leaving the bar and I still feel a little full. But, I still want to eat. I'm not hungry, not even close. I just feel like eating. I'll find stuff to eat all the time, be it healthy or not, usually not. Ice cream is my all time favorite. I think I get that from my dad. He would eat ice cream all the time. We would have ice cream in the house at all times growing up. Then, for Lent one year, he gave it up and hardly eats it now, if at all. I think I need a food intervention or something. I just want to eat all the time. It really shows, too. I've seen changes in me physically and emotionally. I've never been as big as I am. People says I'm not fat (this lady sure thinks so) and that my body is proportioned correctly. I really appreciate when people say that but I can't help but feel like crap. I look at myself and wonder how I let myself get like this?
I've also wanted to do several creative things lately. I want to paint. I even knida know what I want to paint. I just need to get my big butt up and go get the supplies. Any ideas? I start belly dance class again tomorrow night (WOOHOO!). I was feeling super excited about it then I started feeling fat. I start my cable hat kitting class on Thursday. I'm getting my yarn and needles on Wednesday and am super excited about that. The hats will be pink for the Race for the Cure coming up on March 20th. Go. Read. Donate.
Friday, January 29, 2010
I'm reading the Feburary issue of Glamour and I came across a very interesting article. Now, before I talk about it, I do feel the need to let you know that I'm not my soap box or high horse or anything else you can think of. I, in fact, use to be one of these people. You know them. They have bronze skin, a great tan. You may even beat little jealous. I hope you're not. It's made out to be so great and wonderful, that you'll look and feel better. It's made popular on television. Fake and bake. Not so great. When I was in undergrad, I use to be one of them. It didn't start off so bad, maybe a few times a month. Then that didn't seem to do it anymore. I would go for longer perids of time in the bed. I would go everyday. It got so bad that my friends would know when I went tannig because they could smell the burnt skin. Yeah, sexy. I know. I knew what I was doing. I knew what it was doing to my skin. Still, it didn't matter. Then one day, I stopped. I, along with my checking account, couldn't take it anymore. It started being something I felt I had to do everyday. If I didn't go, I felt I let myself down somehow. How messed up is that? Really? I'd rather be not tan and health then with one and sick. When are these peope going to lean? What are your thoughts on the matter?
Thursday, January 28, 2010
I bought two pair of black pants that actually fit (YAY!!!!), registered for my cable hat class at the Yarn Nook, as well as signed up with Kim for a shirt for the upcoming breast cancer walk.
All was well until I realized I only had 15 minutes to get to my bar card class (I'm the one that is always 15 moniytes early for everything....if I'm not going with Cain lol). So, I speed across town with 2 minutes to spare! Turns out the instructor locked the door. Dude, we have two minutes...let us in. So he did. I eneded up sitting by some really cool guy named Ryan. He's now my friend on Twitter. It's his birthday today!
I am now legally allowed to sell alcochol in the state of Louisiana another 4 years and in city of Lafayette for another 2....ya know, if I'm still here (see yesterdays post if you're confused). Woohoo!!! Gotta love those laws, baby!
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
One of my favorite bloggers,Muppet Soul, came back to blogging this week. I have missed her so freaking much. She is a great writter. She makes me laugh. I want to write like her. This leads to me someone else.
Another of my favorite bloggers, LiLu, wrote a great post on her blog about finding your own voice. I need to do that. I also need to go like Muppet and write everyday!!! EVERYDAY!!!
Here comes the Internet suicide part:
I had to renew my bar card (city and state) by the end of the month. So, yesterday morning, my friend and I decide to go before work to get it out the way. We pay and get to the office fairly quickly, no problem. I just happen to get the lady processor this morning. She's going over all of my information and we're chatting like old friends. Man, could I be more wrong. Three things happen that ruin my day.
First, she tells me I can take the class this Thursday and won't have to worry about it for another four years, that hopefully I won't have to ever take it again. Thank you so freaking much, lady I've known for all of 5 minutes, to point out that I'm 26 and still work at the same damn place after four years. I let that go.
Second, she comments on my weight. She say's "Wait, you were 162 (that's A LIE....my state card says 152. Wanna see???) the last time you came in here." My current weight is 180 (INTERNET SUICIDE). I wanted to jump across the desk and beat her. I played that one off as having eating out a lot with my boyfriend (which is more than true....I'll save that for other time)
Third, I woke up about 39 minutes before I was suppose to meet my friend this AM. That doesn't leave much time to look fabulously picture ready. I thought I didn't look that bad; I managed to run my fingers through my hair and pinch my cheeks. When it comes time for the picture part, I thought she was going to ask me to get in front of the camera as cheese it up. Boy, was I dead wrong. Instead, she asks if I want to just reprint my picture because I don't look that much different than I did in the last one. I wanted to crawl in a hole and die. Thank you lady, for ruining what very little self esteem I had. Thank you.
This just keeps getting better.
Monday, I had to shopping for black pants (we switching to them for work). I tried dying my kahki pants black and it didn't work :-( I HATE shopping. I'm short, fat and have big hips and boobs. Yeah, that makes for a great shopping experience. Let me tell you. Anyway, back to the black pants. We ended up going to Goodwil because we are broke (in other words, we make nothing at our job, but hey, we're lucky to have one, right?) We search through all the black pants and each find a pair that fit and I get two "boobie shirts", as my friend calls them. I put them on today for work and have been uncomfortable all day. They fit great in the hip and thigh area (my problem area). Problem is they about two inches from my boobs and ride up a little in the crotch. Great.
My stomach hurt all morning. It sucked. After I used the bathroom, though, I felt better. I need to start drinking more water. My mom always told me: drink clear, pee clear. It's always worked for me. Has your mom ever told you stuff like that?
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
I've been feeling kinda down lately. I really miss my friends. I miss "me" time.