Sunday, January 31, 2010

Maybe I need one

I like watching Intervention on A&E. It just gets me how these people can mess their lives up so badly and their families help them. The episodes I've seen on television are usually about drug and/or alcohol. I've never seen one about any other addiction. I just happend to be scrolling through the episodes online when I came across one about shopping. This lady had over $100,000 in credit card debt and she also stole her mother's identity. How crazy is that? But, that's not what I want to write about tonight.

Last night, Cain and I made plans to go to Fat Pat's Bar and Grill for their $3 single hot dogs on Sunday. I was excited because we hadn't been there in a while. I was really hungry because I hadn't eaten since last night and by the time we got there it was around 2:30 (traffic was horrible). My stomach was A LOT bigger than my eyes. I wish they would communicate more often. I got two hot dogs and an order of sweet potato fries. WRONG WRONG WRONG. BAD DECISION. I felt horrible leaving the bar and I still feel a little full. But, I still want to eat. I'm not hungry, not even close. I just feel like eating. I'll find stuff to eat all the time, be it healthy or not, usually not. Ice cream is my all time favorite. I think I get that from my dad. He would eat ice cream all the time. We would have ice cream in the house at all times growing up. Then, for Lent one year, he gave it up and hardly eats it now, if at all. I think I need a food intervention or something. I just want to eat all the time. It really shows, too. I've seen changes in me physically and emotionally. I've never been as big as I am. People says I'm not fat (this lady sure thinks so) and that my body is proportioned correctly. I really appreciate when people say that but I can't help but feel like crap. I look at myself and wonder how I let myself get like this?

I've also wanted to do several creative things lately. I want to paint. I even knida know what I want to paint. I just need to get my big butt up and go get the supplies. Any ideas? I start belly dance class again tomorrow night (WOOHOO!). I was feeling super excited about it then I started feeling fat. I start my cable hat kitting class on Thursday. I'm getting my yarn and needles on Wednesday and am super excited about that. The hats will be pink for the Race for the Cure coming up on March 20th. Go. Read. Donate.

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