Maybe I'm just stupid....or desperate

I must be really stupid. Maybe desperate. I missed a lot of work this weekend because I was sick. I still am. Ask me what I'm doing at work? Making up the hours I missed, I'll tell you. The boy was up at six with a very bad stomach ache and stuff coming out of both ends. He was suppose to work today. Me, being the stupid/desperate person I am, decided to take his shift. My mom and sister were suppose to come see Due Date, which I have already seen. Well, they invited me to lunch instead. My sister jumped my case when she found out I was working. This isn't the first time I've taken his shifts and ruined plans with them. I'm still sick. My sister's mad because she thinks I let him walk all over me and also because my body isn't properly recovering. I'll never get better.

Missed a day

I failed already :( The reason I didn't post yesterday is because I was in bed all day, very sick. So sick in fact, that I had to miss a belly dace workshop I had already paid for. I spent all of yesterday in a Nyquil coma. It was so bad on Friday that I spent the majority of the night communicating with customers on paper. It hurt to much to talk. I'm feeling a little better today, still a little loopy from the Nyquil probably. I think it's from the weather change. I hope you are all taking care of yourselves.

Grace in Small Things

This week:
**Tea and honey
**Ramen noodles
**Oversized comfy sweatshirts
**My dogs that cuddle with me when I go to bed
**Orange juice

This writing thing

So, yeah, as I mentioned on Monday, I'm participating in NaNoWriMo. I have to tell you now, I was crazy to do so. Yeah, that's right, CRAZY!!

I let someone talk me into this. Really, I did. So, I have no one to blame but myself. I'm 5,000 words in and ready to call it quits, but I'm not going to. I am having fun writing and coming up with ideas. It's just finding the time to actually do it. There's so much else going on right now so to find tine to write is hard. I make myself do it everyday.

I now see why it takes people so long to wrote a book.

Maybe I'll get it one day

Yesterday, the suggested topic was to write about a piece of jewelry that was important to you and the story behind that. Well, I'm going to write about that but not. See, I don't own the piece of jewelry I'm talking about. I've never even seen it. But, it's still special to me.

The year I was going to turn thirteen, my maw maw, my mom's mom, passed away. Oh, from those of you not from southern Louisiana, maw maw is what you would call your grandmother. Well, my birthday is in June. She passed away in January. I remember talking to her maybe about a were before she passed, and she told me she was going to get me a silver ring with my birthstone in it (pearl, I think). I was excited because she was going to buy it for. She said it signified me becoming a teenager or something like that. When she passed away, all I could think about was that ring and how I would never receive it. I don't tell many people about this. The ring has since become a symbol of my maw maw's love for me. Every time I think about it, I think about her. Hopefully, some day, I'll get that ring.

How do you know when it's real?

OMG!! I'm posting two days in a row! That's like a record for me or something lol. Today's post in brought to you from a baby shower invite. Yes, that's right. A baby shower invite.

I received this invite a few weeks ago. It was sent to me by two friends who are hosting it for another friend of ours. I cannot attend the shower because of a prior commitment (LA RenFest!!). I had wanted to knit them a baby blanket but now really don't want to. I have tried to keep in touch with friends I had in college. I was (not sure if I still am) part of Sigma Alpha Iota in college. It's the International Music for Women. I am super happy I did it. I made amazing friends through it. I just don't understand how someone can say that they haven't seen me in a long time and say we should get together for coffee but never make any plans. People that were once important in my life, really aren't anymore. Why invite me to a baby shower if you don't keep in touch with me and have no intention to? I'm just confused by this whole thing.

It's that time of year

That's right, ladies and gentlemen. It's NaBloPoMo, or National Blog Posting Month. We post something every day, for an entire month. I think this will be good for me because I feel I've been behind on blogging. I'm am also participating in NaNoWriMo, or National Novel Writing Month. I've never done either of these before so we will see how it goes.

It stumps me sometimes about what to write about. I post Grace in Small Things every Friday, so that's something. You should do it. It's good to look at the small things in life.

I have a question. When did November sneak up on us? Like really? That means it's almost December. Speaking of November and December, I should let you know that I really don't like the holidays. Where I work, Thanksgiving and Christmas are the busiest days of the year. I can't wait until we hit Jan. 1, 2011. That means the holidays are over for a little while....Yay!!

Long road home

I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
This brokenness inside me might start healing
Out here it's like I'm someone else
I thought that maybe I could find myself

If I could just come in, I swear I'll leave
Won't take nothing but a memory
From the house that built me

There's that saying 'Home is where the heart is'. Well, I've been thinking about home a lot. Growing up, my dad was in Army. That meant we moved every three to four years. I remember my dad leaving for Germany when I was about 5 or so. We had to stay in the States until it was cleared for us to go over. I remember the day the moving can took our stuff sway. The house looked so empty but held so many memories for me, even at 5. I remember watching Freddie in the living room, not being scared. Now, I can't sit through a scary movie. The last one I watched was 1408, and I almost broke the boys hand. I remember when my sister was born, how we lived in the white upstairs apartment and the moved to the blue and yellow house. I remember trying to help feed her. I also remember getting a screw stuck in her leg from putting her in a high chair. In Germany, we lived in a split level house. Our landlords lived on top, us on bottom. Everyone around us was German lol. We had the best neighbors. When I graduated high school, I received a card from the lady that lived right next to us. They were the grandparents we didn't have. I'm so thankful they were part of our lives. I remember sledding down the huge hill off of Farmers Hill and getting stuck in the snow bank of the other side of the road. Moving back to the States, we lived on Base. I look back at that house and it's such a mix of emotions. In this house, I sprained my ankle for the first time, found out my grandmaw passed away and my grandpaw has a stroke. I see this house as the bad house. Still, I do have good memories. I loved watching the seasons change. That is way Fall is my favorite. My dad feeding squirrels on our back porch. Then my dad got hurt and we moved for the last time.

I really didn't make a lot of friends growing up because we, as well as everyone we knew, moved. By 7th grade, I was tired of making friends. I remember sitting at the dinning room table crying to my mom because we had to move....again. I remember asking why couldn't we just stay? When me moved to LA, I was the odd kid. I wore black nail polish and my hair was short. Kids weren't quiet back it, either. It didn't really bother me at first. It wasn't that hard making friends because I was in band and, later, chorus. I wanted friends but, at the same time, didn't. I just let it happen. I wasn't really close to anyone. I guess that why I want to fit in so bad now, but part of me is okay with being a loner. It's like I've been one all my life.

When I got the chance to do VEDA, I was excited. I thought I would make new friends, get more blog readers and vlog watchers. I loved doing VEDA. It was so much fun. Then VEDA ended. I tried keeping in touch with everyone. They just seem to have gone off without me. I sort of feel like I'm not wanted. I know that sounds silly. I guess I need to do more.

I've had this urge to leave for a while. To try something new, live in a new place. But part of me doesn't. I'm not sure it will ever happen. Part of me wonders if I'll ever feel at home.

Grace in Small Things, Week 7

This week:
**Knitting and TV time
**Signing up for the double veil workshop
**NaNoWriMo starts Monday....I'm doing it for the first time ever
**Forced to do my combo in class

Grace in Small Things, Week 6

**Buying Where The Wild Things Are (the book) for my cousin for her birthday
**Spending time with my family
on Sunday
**Able to be honest about what's going on inside
**Thinking about the military
**Belly dance

I know it's not much but it's something. Where did you find your grace?

Location:U.S. 167,Lafayette,United States

Didn't think this stuff actually happened

We walked into an already crowded store. We knew we where going to have to wait. That was okay. We talk up to counter and order one pepperoni and one cheese pizza. We pay in cash. She doesn't have the change in her register to give us. I can understand running out of change when you are busy. What bothers me is that she put the change on the counter and proceeds to count out what she has, giving anyone the chance to take money from her drawer, which was still open. That's crazy! She tells us it's going to be 9 minutes. Even I could see it was going to be longer than that. Why not tell us it would be a 10-15 minute wait? Okay, no big deal. We wait and wait and wait. A pepperoni pizza had just come out of the oven. She asks the lobby full of people who order a pepperoni pizza. My boyfriend steps forward fro where we were standing and said we did. Some lady who walked about ten minutes after we did raises her hand as well. The lady hands our pizza to this lady. That's so messed up. I know we ordered two pizzas. We had to wait 10 extra minutes to get out pizzas. They really need to get their stuff straight.

Random thoughts for today

Cigarettes. They smell like family.

One guy yells about abuse. His mother saying yes. Him getting blamed.

Another calls to see if she's okay.

Blue, purple and pink sky. Feels like home.

I wish you could see my insides. They are screaming at me. I want to scream back. Tell them to shut up.

I'm whole yet so broken.

Location:Camellia Blvd,Lafayette,United States

Chocolate chip pumpkin spice cake

Last Sunday, I had much needed time with my ladies. We haven't spent time together in so long. We had cream cheese, spinach and feta crescent rolls, Korean beef and chocolate chip pumpkin spice cake. I received the recipe from my lovely friend Erica (@LovelyAnamoly on Twitter).






I will now share with you the recipe for the cake. You should make it!

Ingredients:





1 2/3 cups flour
1 cup sugar
2 tsp. cinnamon
1 tsp. ginger
1/2 tsp. ground cloves
1/4 tsp. baking soda
1/4 tsp. salt
2 eggs
1 cup canned pumpkin (but I’d use more)
1/2 cup melted butter
1 cup dark chocolate chips

Steps:

Mix all the dry ingredients





Add the eggs and melted butter; mix






Add pumpkin and mix well; I used a little over half the can






Add the chocolate chips and mix; I used over half the bag






Pour into 2 greased loaf pans (or you can use one 9x13 greased pan) and bake at 350 degrees







Because I used more pumpkin, I baked it about 30-35 minutes; bake for 20-25 minutes if just using one cup of pumpkin

You can put cream cheese icing on it, if you like. We though it was so good we didn't use it, but I will have to try it next time.

This is what it looks like when done:













I hope you all make this and enjoy it as much as we did!

Grace in Small Things, Week 5

**Spending time with my ladies on Sunday night
**Skype date with M and ladies on Sunday night...we cooked and danced and baked
**Talking with H about very deep stuff
**Starting to open up more
**Baking pear muffins and pumpkin bread with E
**Pumpkin spice lattes
**Feeling a little strong every day
**Nice customers and my regulars making my day
**Possibly buying my own domain

Something different

So, I've been thinking for a while now about buying my win domain and starting over with my blog. I really want to learn web design and experiment with it on my site. If I do this, I don't think I'll transfer my old blog to the new one. I want this new blog to really be about me. I would also like it to house my hopefully-one-day craft shop.

The problem I'm facing right now is decided who to go with for hosting as well as finding a domain name. I don't want future employers to find this and not hire me (same goes with grad schools).

So, any advice? Suggestions? Help?

Grace in Small Things, Week 4

***Stole this banner from Nora***

*Today is pay day
*The weather has been wonderful
*Secretariat and Life As We Know It come out this weekend
*My sister moved out of our parents house this week
*Spending time cuddling with my dogs in the morning
*Not breaking down when I was really low
*Hearing from people who received cards I sent; it makes me smile :)

Location:Oak Park Dr,Lafayette,United States

Gender Roles

On the 5th of every month, bloggers from around the world are open to write about rights and issues concerning women. First started by Shine and Marie, we’re hoping to bring a variety of women’s issues to the forefront to make people aware of what’s going on. For the month of October, we’ve chosen to write about Gender Roles. Please join us in telling us your stories, thoughts, and ideas on a monthly basis. To read previous installments, click here.
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If you don't know, my dad was in the Army when I was growing up. That means he was gone a lot. That also means that my mom was the disciplinarian and rule maker. She was the one who punished us when we did something bad. She was the first to say  'No' if  she didn't want us to do something. Our dad sent us to her to 'make sure it was okay' and not the other way around.

Living in the South, men are called 'Sir', while ladies are called 'sweetheart' and 'babe'. It's still okay for men to think that their 'woman' should cook and clean while the men watch football or do nothing at all.

Watching my mom growing up, I can see where I get some things. For one, I'm a leader. Even when dancing, I have to lead. I like to tell it like it is. I don't take crap from anyone. I'm not sure I would have learned these things had my dad been home. I find that, although my mom took on both parent roles sometimes, I'm happy to say that I'm that girl who knows how to be strong.

Grace in Little Things, Week 3

Grateful for this week:
1. This awesome Fall like weather we've been having. Yay Fall!! Keep it up :)
2. My body hasn't given up on me completely
3. I'm getting back into vlogging, even if it is a few days late
4. I'm able to express how I feel at any moment in writing
5. Those who read my blog
6. I'm going to start making my combo for Tribal
7. Belly dancing <3

Location:U.S. 167,Lafayette,United States

Listen to your heart

The alchemist speaking to the boy about why he should listen to his heart: "Because you will never again to able to keep it quiet. Even if you pretend not to have heard what it tells you, it will always be there inside you, repeating to you what you're thinking about life and about the world."

My heart has been heavy lately. I'm not really sure what's going on, but I'm going to let it happen. I'm going to try to listen and understand. It's been really hard lately to listen and understand anything. My heart is more guarded and closer off, though I'm an open person. What is the state of your heart?

Location:N College Rd,Lafayette,United States

The "Currently" game

So, Tabitha is playing the "Currently" game. I thought I'd follow suit. Here are a few on my list right now.

 Current Book(s): The Alchemist, such a good book. I suggest everyone read it.


Current Playlist: Belly dance music haha, trying to kind music to dance to for Christmas

Current Shame-Inducing Guilty Pleasure: I don't really have one

Current Color: My default color is red, I wear it at work becasue I have to and my college colors where red and white. I would love to introduce other colors into my wardrobe.

Current Drink: Water and coffee. I can't wait to drink pumpkin pie lattes and peppermint mochas.

Current Food: Honestly, junk right now. It's sad. I really need to get back into my healthy eating.

Current Favorite Show: Projecy Runway

Current Wishlist: I wish I could get out of my head, I wish I could feel connected to others

Current Needs: I need to stop worrying so much....about everyting

Current Bane(s) of my Existence: Bills and student loans....they will never go away

Current Celebrity Crush: Not really crushing on anyone at the moment

Current Outfit: Red shirt and black pants (work outfit)

Current Excitement: Nothing really....that's so sad

Current Link:  Nothing here either....blah