Tuesday, March 10, 2009

THAT girl

  • Mar. 10th, 2009 at 9:08 PM
I NEVER thought I'd be that girl. I never thought I'd be that girl who's life revolved around her boyfriend, who gave up stuff with friends and family because of her boyfriend, who doesn't recognize herself........ALL BECAUSE OF A BOY. How pathetic is that? I look at my life a few years ago and miss that strong, independent woman who knew what she wanted (or at least had an idea) and how to get it ,who was head strong, took no crap crap from anyone. I miss the woman in me. I miss having just ME time, where I don't have to do anything or feel bad for doing something without him. I know if I'd talk to Cain about this, he would say that he didn't stop from doing all that stuff, that I did that to myself. Part of that is true. He never did stop me from being me, but part of me gave up myself for him, because I'm in a relationship with him. I don't know if any of this makes any sense.

So, anyone know of any one bedroom's available by August in the Lafayette area? Yeah, the more I think about it, the more I'm leaning toward a one bedroom. I seriously need to get back to myself, to find out who I am and what I want.


Pam said...

We all get like that. Trust me. I have been there got the t-shirt, the bumper sticker, the little banner, and the really nasty tasting sucker. But you have to do something for yourself. Go out on your own, make your own name in the world. He can still be a part of it, but not everything.

Independence is a wonderful thing and with it comes many beautiful things!

Heather said...

@ Pam Thank you. There is much I am learning about myself, some good, some not so good.

Shantae said...

Hi! I hope you don't mind the random comment. I found your blog from 20somethings.

I've gone through this same scenario as well. I've been with my boyfriend (long distance) for 4 years this April. Towards the middle of our relationship I became completely dependent upon him. I was basically his shadow and it was my fault. I molded myself into someone I didn't recognize anymore because it's who I thought he wanted. So, of course, when he broke up with me last summer I was completely devastated and lost.

I used that time to re-develop a sense of myself. To regain my independence and my sanity. To find me. I couldn't be happier now. And! I got him back, but this time I know how to be in a relationship and still be who I [really] am. I hope you can find the same peace of mind. Good luck!