Friday, February 18, 2011

That feeling

I felt it creeping in last night on the drive home. That empty feeling, settling in the pit of my stomach. I have been down this road many times before. It use to consume me, taking over my entire life. I can now recognize and dig my heels in the ground to stop it. That's what I had to do last night. I don't let it get very far anymore. After drums, dance, food and TV, I went home. I didn't even make it to my door before the tears started. I unlocked the door, put my purse down and headed right back outside. I went for a walk (I know, I know....I shouldn't be walking in the dark alone...please don't fuss). I wasn't sure where the tears came from but man, did they. When I walked back into my apartment, they didn't stop. I cried for about an hour. I couldn't get to sleep. I tossed and turned, finally settling on TV. Just so you know, there's not much good on at 2 in the morning. Did I fail to mention that I had been up since 4:30 am? Yeah, I have no idea why. I fell asleep sometime after 2 only to wake up at 7 am, on the dot. Yeah, thanks body.

On a better note, I'm writing music again. So far, I have about 6 songs started. If only I could get past the first 30 seconds, I could finish them. I'll just keep writing and singing and hopefully something good comes of it.


Pam said...

I'm glad you are able to recognize those downward spiral moments, but I feel like you need something or someone to help you. Don't be afraid to call me if it happens. I'm not far and I don't mind.

Just remember there are people out there that think you are an amazing women and love you tons!! (p.s. I'm one of them by the way...:) )

Heather said...

Pam, I love you <3 Thank you so much.