Eyes closed

I can't run from it, no matter how hard I try. It's always there. The feeling of it against my skin, blood running down. I'm tired of it always being there. It was my choice. I brought this into my life. I feel like a fake, a phoney. I'm boring, lonely, pathetic. Nothing feels right, nothing is going right. I want to be part of something that matters. I want to make a difference. I feel like I'm wasting my time here.