Secret

I have a secret I've been carrying around for a very long time. It makes me feel stupid to even think about it. I'm scared to succeed. I'm scared to be good at something. I'm scared that I'll fall flat on my face and look stupid.

I think that's held me back a lot in my life. Could be the reason I'm still at The Grand.

I'm sending out resumes Monday for 5 postions open in public relations in the Lafayette area. Hopefully something good happens.

I'm working as much as I can at The Grand. It really sucks. But, that's life. No one said it was easy or fair.

Dreams

I've been having weird dreams lately. It's been for about a week. I've had dreams that I'm still working at the vet clinic, I've had dreams I was doing a a sideways hip pop in belly dance and doing it well. I also had a dream that while I was belly dancing, I raised my arms and had very hairy underarms. This morning, I had a dream, about what I don't remember, but I know it freaked me out because I woke up crying. I don't know what's up. I wish I could figure them out.

A first

I was fired last Thursday from the vet clinic. He felt I wasn't doing my best to get clients in when they wanted to come in. Clients there don't know the word NO. Apparently, last Wednesday, a very important client came in and rasied nine kinds on hell becuse I told him he couldn't come in the week before. The man called late Friday afternoon and wanted a bath for his dog. Me, not wanting him to leave his dog overnight, asked if he could come in Monday. He said yes but never showed up Monday. I thought everything was fine, that he would call back to set up another appointment. When I got to work Thursday morning, Vanessa was the only one to give me a heads up about what happened Wednesday. He waited until 4 o'clock Thursday afternoon, while I was in the middle of helping someone on the phone, to pull me in the office. He said he was sorry but he would need my key. I kept it together, gave him my key, said I was sorry, thanked him and left. I broke down
in my car. What really sucked was that I had to go to work at The Grand that night. They cut hours there so I'm trying to get shifts where I can. I dont know if I can survive on this salary alone. I don't know what to do. I've been very depressed lately. I e-mailed my resume to my cousin last week and he said they might have openings because they bought a comany a few weeks ago. I hope something comes through very soon.

DARE. Change.

May we all dare to change.

Feeling funky

I'm sitting here not wanting to do anything but have much to do. I've been wathcing Real Life on MTV all afernoon, about drug addicts and alcoholics.

I finally put clothes washing. After I put clothes washing, I just started crying. I've been having a really rough time lately, with work and all. I really miss my friends and family.

I felt better at my bellydancing class last week. I hope it just keeps getting better.

I like the cooler weather. I just want to sit at CC's and drink a pumpkin pie latte or a peppermint mocha.

End my rant for the day.

Can't seem to

I'm here at The Grand. It is the suck. Really. It is. Corporate has now cut hours drastically. The cafe is the only stand open during the week. Only leads work during the week. One open, one swing, one close. Yeah, we have to close by ourselves. Next Thursday there are midnights so there are two people coming in from 10-1 to help. It won't be that bad. I do inventory on Thursday nights so the week after may be interesting. They think they are saving money but they aren't. The closer has to do everything by themselves. It only means they are going to be here later. I hope they come to their senses and put things back the way they were. To make things worse, I have to work the Baker on Wednesdays from 2-5. Yeah, let me tell you how excited I am about that.

Sorry I've been such a bad blogger. I've been sick for the past week. I left work early yesterday and called into the grand last night. I slept all afternoon and night. I still feel a little groggy.

Hope you are all having a great day.

P.S. I love the rain